Thursday, January 31, 2013

Baby steps to Big Girl Dreams

My heart was racing.  I had a tug inside of me to make a call to the local community college to inquire about teaching a continuing education class.  I had always had a desire to teach, and the bubbly stir inside of me kept pushing me to act.  My only problem was that  the conversation in my head made me want to run and hide.  But the stir was so very strong.  I had to do something.  And then I remembered a teaching I had just heard by Joyce Meyer.  She spoke about fear and how it can grip your life.   Her solution was simple.  She said, "Whatever you need to do, do it afraid."  

A light blub moment!  Her words interrupted that internal conversation, and pushed me to make a choice and shift my thinking.  I marched to the phone....afraid....and made the call to the college.  I asked if they were in need of instructors and before I knew it,  one thing led to another.  By the end of the call, I had an interview lined up and a request to submit a curriculum for a new class I would personally develop.  My head was spinning when I hung up and my heart was jumping for joy.  God knew, more than I ever could, how that call would turn out and how it would affect me.  I soon found myself teaching a room full of adults about the ins and outs of starting a gift basket business as well as classes on the basics of floral design.  When I was encouraging my class, I was on top of the world.  In that teaching setting, I felt like I was doing what God created me to do.  It was a dream come true.  If I didn't trust and face my fear with faith, I never would have experienced the joy of the dream.  

I learned the "do it afraid" tip over 20 years ago, and I still use it today to help me when I feel that scary, bubbly stir inside of me.  That Holy Spirit prompting that says, "go for it."  Yes, the fear is there, and it's real, but God is there too.  The secret?   I leave it up to God because he is the one who started the bubbles in the first place.  I pray the bubbles never run out!

What do you need to do "afraid" today?  God will be with you!

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

Friday, January 18, 2013

Diving In

I observed a tender moment with a friend while visiting her 97 year old mother.  Her mom said, “Oh I just love you so much, I just want to take a piece of you and keep you with me.”  A sweet hug and laughter followed.  I shared that sweet sentiment today with my daughter.  She is standing on the edge, waiting to take a big dive into her life, and I’m thrilled for her.  The only difference is that when I shared that statement with her, I cried.  They were selfish tears that only a mother’s heart knows and I didn’t apologize for them, because they were too raw and much too real.  Of course I’m thrilled that my girl is following her dream and I wouldn’t want it any other way.  But a heart ache is just a thought away sometimes, so I had to admit that I was being selfish.  I think she might have choked back some tears herself when she explained that she’ll only be thirteen hours away.  Ok, reality check…hmmm, she is not in another country.  That’s good.  She’ll be living somewhere safe, that’s good too.  What else can I think of to make me feel better?  Right now, I got nothin’.   The truth is that I can’t just keep a little piece of her to myself, or can I?  When she rejoices, I will rejoice with her.  When she is across the miles needing support, I have a feeling she might give me a jingle.  I have a favorite saying, and I can see her repeating it to me….I need to put my big girl pants on and dive in right with her.

         Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep…
                                                                                                                                     Romans 12:15
Me and Dana during a summer visit
A stone shaped heart on the gravel drive