When I said yes

When I said yes to God, I had no idea of the path it would take me on. My heart and the broken places inside of me were a mess, yet I found hope in God and I was “all in.” I found a God that offered a way through truth. Truth that I was truly forgiven and fully loved. Thirty years ago, I said yes, and looking back on the path, I see the inclines that have given me spiritual muscle. I’ve seen grace and miracles come through pain, growth, beauty and love. These days, though, I’m tired. Because I often think that after all this time, I’d have some kind rest, maybe a little coasting. But just like the physical body, if we stop working it, using it, we die. Atrophy sets in. Spiritually, I sometimes feel atrophied. My spiritual laziness makes me feel even dead at times. It is a place so easy to get to. I rest on my own “goodness,” whatever that is. And that’s the beginning of a new path that takes me absolutely nowhere. Today. Now. I say ye