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Showing posts from 2013

Fully Enganged

I just spent a week visiting my daughter and I couldn't wait to dive in to mom mode.  I realized I had to restrain myself, after all, I was going to be a guest at her place, not to mention that I was on vacation!  That thought didn't last very long.  I spent the first few days cooking comfort food and loving every minute of it.  I made gravy and meatballs, enough for two dinners that we enjoyed together and enough for at least one more memorable serving just for her.  A way to show I was still there in spirit.  Our visit was relaxed and lazy but it was missing something.  I had an uneasy sense and I couldn't quite put what it was into words.   On the drive home, it kind of came together for me.  It was that she wasn't fully engaged with me.  While I was with her, I dismissed the feeling because I knew she had work responsibilities and friends to electronically connect with, but it really struck me that we kind of missed out.  At least I did...I wondered if keeping a s

Satisfaction

I was doing a little pondering recently and I was caught off guard when I began to think about my journey.   I saw that questions about my journey mostly centered on the direction of my life, what was impacting me, and where I was headed.   Where did the signs lead ME to?    Then the light bulb turned on.  The truth is that the journey is not supposed to be about me.   It’s supposed to be about God.   Yet, so much of the time, I am thinking about myself in the journey.   What really matters is whether or not my journey is leading me to HIM.   Now that really jazzes up my route.   The path that leads to ME vs. the path that leads to God.   Hmmm.   I realized that along much of the way, I’ve arranged my journey so as to have things point to me and not God.   We hear a lot of talk about our life purpose.   Any time I hear a speaker talk about this topic, I am drawn to it with a magnetic force.   I want to know about my purpose .   What I have realized is that my purpose is to poi

Amazing Connections

Have you ever had one of those days that are just so full of goodness, you feel like you’re bursting?  Today was one of those days.  It was a day of art and a day of good people.  Two amazing combinations.   Any time I am in one of my collage art classes, it’s special.  It is so for many reasons, but mainly because of my instructor, Laura.  I don’t think she fully realizes how she impacts her students.  More importantly, I don’t think she really knows what an important thread she has been and continues to be in my life.  In a nutshell, s he has inspired me to be the artist I am today, and the artist I am becoming.  And she has done this with complete freedom in sharing her expertise  as an artist.   God has used may people to help me realize my dreams and He has done this by thread ing my life together with those H e has put in my path.   He has never allowed me to cross paths with someone without his hand being involved.  Today, He used Laura to create a new thread. Aft

Opposite Directions

It was nice and toasty in my house.   And the tear that just leaked from my eye turned ice cold as I pulled the door shut behind me.   I couldn’t help it.   I had an emotional wrestling match with my better half the night before, and it left me feeling fragile.   This happens in marriage and relationships, right?   How is it that I can be standing right next to my husband and yet feel so alone?   I had to make a choice.   I prayed and wondered how to proceed.   Would I be able to verbalize my thoughts?   Would I be able to lay down the anger I felt it my heart?   I had to work backwards.      I’ve learned enough to know that the anger is the blanket that covers all the other feelings.   Don’t we like to stay under the blanket?   It’s kind of comfortable and it keeps us distant so we don’t have to deal with the truths that lead us there.   So I had to start uncovering, and   I found rejection at the root, which was enough to prompt the tears. The tail spin began.  Whe

Baby steps to Big Girl Dreams

My heart was racing.  I had a tug inside of me to make a call to the local community college to inquire about teaching a continuing education class.  I had always had a desire to teach, and the bubbly stir inside of me kept pushing me to act.  My only problem was that  the conversation in my head made me want to run and hide.  But the stir was so very strong.  I had to do something.  And then I remembered a teaching I had just heard by Joyce Meyer.  She spoke about fear and how it can grip your life.   Her solution was simple.  She said, "Whatever you need to do, do it afraid."   A light blub moment !   Her words interrupted that internal conversation, and pushed me to make a choice and shift my thinking.  I marched to the phone....afraid....and made the call to the college.  I asked if they were in need of instructors and before I knew it,  one thing led to another.  By the end of the call, I had an interview lined up and a request to submit a curriculum for a new class

Diving In

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I observed a tender moment with a friend while visiting her 97 year old mother.  Her mom said, “Oh I just love you so much, I just want to take a piece of you and keep you with me.”  A sweet hug and laughter followed.  I shared that sweet sentiment today with my daughter.  She is standing on the edge, waiting to take a big dive into her life, and I’m thrilled for her.  The only difference is that when I shared that statement with her, I cried.  They were selfish tears that only a mother’s heart knows and I didn’t apologize for them, because they were too raw and much too real.  Of course I’m thrilled that my girl is following her dream and I wouldn’t want it any other way.  But a heart ache is just a thought away sometimes, so I had to admit that I was being selfish.  I think she might have choked back some tears herself when she explained that she’ll only be thirteen hours away.  Ok, reality check…hmmm, she is not in another country.  That’s good.  She’ll be living somewhere safe,