Monday, June 3, 2013

Fully Enganged

I just spent a week visiting my daughter and I couldn't wait to dive in to mom mode.  I realized I had to restrain myself, after all, I was going to be a guest at her place, not to mention that I was on vacation!  That thought didn't last very long.  I spent the first few days cooking comfort food and loving every minute of it.  I made gravy and meatballs, enough for two dinners that we enjoyed together and enough for at least one more memorable serving just for her.  A way to show I was still there in spirit.  Our visit was relaxed and lazy but it was missing something.  I had an uneasy sense and I couldn't quite put what it was into words.  

On the drive home, it kind of came together for me.  It was that she wasn't fully engaged with me.  While I was with her, I dismissed the feeling because I knew she had work responsibilities and friends to electronically connect with, but it really struck me that we kind of missed out.  At least I did...I wondered if keeping a slight distance was her way to keep from feeling the sadness that a goodbye brings, especially when there are so many miles between us.  

It made me think about the many missed opportunities we experience because we don't fully engage with people around us in our every day lives.  When our fluttering minds keep so busy that we don't really connect...no investment, no loss.  We keep things on the surface and simple so we don't get hurt or don't risk the possibility of having to commit ourselves in some way to someone or that people get to see how imperfect we are.  I started thinking about the way Jesus engaged with people.  He was fully present with each person he came in contact with.  Whether it was one of his disciples, or a stranger he encountered, he was really there with them in the moment.  Am I?  How do I keep my mind from doing laps, thinking about something else when I am talking with even those closest to me?  My challenge to myself is to slow down and do one thing.  To listen and to risk.  I may be pulled into a place where God wants me to be and be used by Him for a greater purpose.  Now that would be living fully engaged!

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  John 13:34

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