Petals of Friendship

I’ve gotten into two fights in my life.  I know, hard to believe.  But I can remember them clearly.  One was with Cathy, who lived two doors down from my grandmother’s house.  I was probably around 8 or 9 years old.  Cathy was mean and a thorn in my side.  She was also the only other kid on the block who I could play with.  I don’t know exactly how the fight started, but I can remember the final scene and how it all played out.  I towered over her as she lay on the grass, pinned in a helpless position.  She cried for mercy and I let her go.  She flew home and that was the last time she bullied me.  The other time was in sixth grade.  I was friends with Rosie; at least I thought I was.  She accused me of breaking her compass and told me that she was going to beat me up after school.  I was shaking in my boots the rest of the school day.  I wondered how I could avoid the ordeal.  I wished I had someone that could come to my defense.  When the bell rang, there was no escape.  There were s

We’ve been under attack. Well, our lawn, that is. My husband woke up one morning, alarmed at what he found outside. Our yard looked like someone had attacked it with a rototiller. Each side of the house had large sections uprooted and we couldn’t figure out why. After pondering, Joe realized that it had to be an animal of some kind, digging for grubs. I learned that grubs are attracted to grass for many reasons, one of which is drought stress. They also move deeper into the lawn during the late summer and early fall months to seek out moisture. It all made sense. Now, the challenge was catching the culprit causing all the damage. Joe turned into the character Bill Murray played on Caddy Shack. He spied the terrain; and one sleepless night, he got up and surveyed the back yard. There in the distance was a set of beady eyes that belonged to a skunk. A defiant one at best. I really felt bad for Joe because he is meticulous about caring for the lawn. Fertilizing, thatching, mowing, etc. Th

I’ve been lazy. I let my guard down, and found my confidence shaken. A few weeks ago, I participated in several business functions where I observed some interactions I was not a part of. Slowly, I started experiencing feelings that seemed to pull the rug right out from under me. I felt jealous, left out, angry and longing to be included. Where did those feelings come from? Wherever it was, I didn’t like it. The possibility that this could have been some sort of stealth, spiritual attack didn’t even cross my mind until later. I often kid about how I forget things, but this time, it was all too real. I had forgotten the truth. The truth of what it means to be a woman who is loved by God. Unconditionally and relentlessly. Forgetting the truth made me lose my footing, causing me to walk off the solid ground He has given me. To look towards others to make me feel accepted and secure. Thankfully, God is not lazy! He does not let his guard down. He is always ready to fight for me. Willi

“My Favorite Mike.” That’s what I called him. Mike was one of my son’s best friends, and he passed away last week. When I heard the news, the knot in my throat was all too familiar. Over the years, our family had experienced unexpected death before, but this was different. I think it was different because this young man had so much life ahead of him. I instantly thought of his beautiful personality and how deeply he would be missed. Mike was one of those kids who brought a smile to your face every time you saw him. Mike’s death made me think about my own two kids. It forced me to realize how much I don’t know them and how much I miss them, even though they are here. They are doing exactly what they should be doing as twenty-somethings. They are living their lives with freedom and independence. We raised them to usher them into adulthood, right? Why then is there an ache in my heart for them? Profound and life changing moments come when we least expect them. Those moments can affect

Today was the last session of my collage class.  It has been a gift to be in Laura's class ( lonecrowart.blogspot.com/ ) and the bonus of it all was to create and work with other women who love collage.  Each student in the class has been an inspiration to me.  I really admire the artwork everyone creates.  Laura really pulls us into the creative process and I love that and need that!  The piece I created is from our last two sessions.  I call it "Layers."  Over the years, I've been trying to grow up and out.  I've often been told that the process is much like the peeling off of layers of an oinion.  Layers that cover up who we are, our hurts or the broken places in our lives.  The collage process is the opposite of this.  In collage, we build through layering.  I am finding that the layers help to reveal who I am.  I found a common bond with many of the women in the class.  We all have a yearning to break away from the things that keep us bound to habits we wrest

While working on a project in an art class, a sharp sting on my finger made me stop in my tracks. I knew instantly that a sliver just broke through the skin on my finger. It was just a tiny piece of wood, barely visible, but boy did it hurt! I tried to remove it, hoping I’d get the entire piece out but no luck. There was a small part of it still under my skin, and I couldn’t do anything about it until I would be home later in the day. Interestingly, I was able to proceed with my project, and I actually forgot about it. Later in the day, I brushed my hand against my jeans, and the pain from the sliver came back. I was quickly reminded that something wasn’t right. That’s how sin is in our lives. It’s so apparent to me when I am not in sync with God. Instantly, the Holy Spirit elbows me and lets me know that I stepped out of line. The conviction, while gentle, is painful. It’s also interesting to see how I can forget about my sin and just go about my business as if nothing is amiss. But t

I am in my third collage class session and am absolutely thrilled. I am learning, learning, learning. One snag though. It seems like the perfectionist in me is keeping me from creating as freely as I'd like to. The part of me that wants to do my work in an exact manner is hanging me up a bit. So I've been trying to pay more attention to what is inside of me, hoping to hear a whisper from the Holy Spirit. After all, the art is in me and so is He. I try to be aware of the messages that will lead me and memories come to mind of when I was a little girl, collecting and gathering this, that, or the other. I never understood why I was drawn to the things I chose. I just knew that when I liked something, be it a rock, an old screw, or a feather, I added it to my collection. I didn't think about it much, I was just happy with my stuff. Over the years, as I've been drawn to the "this and that", I have added it to my collection of stuff. There was no rhyme or reason to

It was an exciting day.  Joe and I decided to take a field trip to the Italio-American Accordion shop in Oak Lawn.   When I walked into the shop, I was amazed.   There was a huge variety of accordions and I felt a little priveledged that I could actually mingle in this environment.  We talked to the girl behind the desk and the resident technician.   He checked out my accordion by playing a few chords.  Immediately, he knew that it had a problem.  Using a special tool, he removed some screws, exposed the inside workings of my accordion and stated his diagnosis. “This accordion has been dropped,” he said.  A few months back, my accordion fell off a chair, and since then it never sounded the same. He made his adjustments, put it back together and placed it back in my case.  I was sooooo happy!   He refused to take any money for the repairs, so I was even more grateful. I couldn't wait to try it out.   As soon as I got home, I pulled out my accordion.  Wow! The rich sound I remembere

Over the years, I have explored my art through various mediums.  Ceramics, oils, pencil, acrylics, watercolor, photography (I'm sure there are more).  I've enjoyed all of them and this weekend I was going to add one more art adventure, collage.  I signed up, not really knowing what I was going to be doing, and I am so happy I did.  It was absolutely wonderful.  More than wonderful...I was completely in the zone for two and one half days.  A classmate in the workshop talked about losing time when creating, and that's exactly what happened.   I was in my own world for two and half days and whatever else was going on out there, just didn't matter.  It's strange how a room filled with artistic energy can create a bond beyond words.  I learned a new art form from my fabulous instructor,  Laura Lein-Svencner and equally rewarding was hearing the encouraging words from my classmates.  I was excited about attending this workshop for many reasons.  The obvious was that I was

I thought I was moving along and making great progress with my lessons.  I almost felt smug.  Suddenly, though, I was staring at a giant.  My giant was a new song with new notes.  This meant that I could no longer keep my fingers on the same five keys I had been using so confidently.  Now, I had to stretch, both physically and mentally.  Physically, my fingers had to reach keys that were unfamiliar to me.  Mentally, I had to admit I wasn't as slick as I thought I was.  I had so much more to learn.  Sometimes I feel like that on a spiritual level.  I am comfortable where I am and think I've got things pretty much under control.  And then God thinks it's time to learn a new song.   That humbles me but also makes me feel the discomfort of the upcoming stretch I'll have to make.  Discomfort may seem like a bad thing, but when it involves God, it usually isn't.  It builds trust.  It makes me see that I am human, and God is way bigger than my circumstances.  He will help

My heart sank when I heard the sharp thud. I knew instantly what had happened. My accordion fell, no...crashed, to the floor. Liz asked me to look at something in another room, so we placed my accordion on a chair. Obviously, not a good idea. I rushed to pick it up, hoping my quick response would miraculously undo whatever damage might have occurred. I tried playing it, and instantly we both could tell some things were not right I left Liz's house without my accordion and as I drove home, my mind filled with a little bit of anxiety. Liz assured me that she could fix the problems and so I decided to focus on that promise. I had to trust her, and I had to stop thinking about the damage. Thankfully, she has the skills to do the repair work. I started thinking how I am damaged too, and how I've "fallen" more than once. It happens more than I like to admit, and that's when I seek the Lord to fix me. With each repair, he perfects me so that I become what he designed me

It's been two weeks now. I've missed two lessons in a row. My instructor Liz and I live very busy lives, and while I understand this, I long for my next lesson. Each lesson pushes me forward, equipping me to become better. So, for the past two weeks I have been practicing my lessons, but I am a little stuck. I am having trouble with something new she taught me. I can't progress until I see her again and I can't wait to see her so I can move forward! I want to move to the next level. This is true with anything in life, but most importantly with my time in scripture. It is during this time that I can grow in the Lord and become equipped for the next "thing". I am reminded how important it is to make the time to learn, otherwise I can become stagnant. When I miss my time with the Lord, I feel the loss. So once again,I am convicted on my need to apply my diligence to my spiritual life. "...train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of

I’ve learned three basic chords. The chords are played with the left hand, and the C chord is the anchor chord. It is easy to find, because when you touch it with your finger, it has an indentation on it to make it evident that your finger is on C. Once I have my finger on the C, I can find the other two chords I’ve learned pretty easily. Those would be the F and G chords. Sounds easy enough. That is until last week when I saw a chord I didn’t know how to reach. The new chord was D. For me, it was D as in “duh.” How in the world was I going to get my fingers over there? It was above the G, and my teacher showed me where it was located, but once I got home, I was pretty lost. It took a leap of blind faith to find it, and then I had to get the feel of it. I know you’re asking that if what I explained earlier was true, what’s the big deal, right? Well, it’s one thing to move one key over with my fingers to go to the neighboring chord, but it’s not so easy to find a chord that

I love my accordion. It’s not perfect, and it has some problems, but I really don't mind. It’s missing a strap, the case is beat up and one of the locks do not clasp properly. But, truly, I don’t care because it's mine! My accordion is starting to feel like a part of me, and I like that. That's because every day, I spend time practicing and every time I practice, I notice that I get a little bit better. Not perfect, just better. That’s how my walk with God is. In his hands, I become better. Not perfect, but with the help of the Holy Spirit, better. The musician makes the instrument eminate a beautiful sound. And so it is with us. As we meet with God every day, he becomes the musician of our lives, enabling us to make a beautiful noise for all to enjoy. Just like I love my accordion, God loves me more. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but tha

I’ve developed some bad habits. Bad accordion playing habits, that is. From the very beginning, Liz has been telling me to slow down at each lesson and to stop playing so staccato, and I try, but I’m a speedster and want to make the music happen. Now I know why slowing down is so important. In my attempt to make my brain and fingers work together, I’ve been playing in a choppy fashion, and now I have to unlearn those bad habits. Today, I tried to do that, and I wanted to scream. I had to force myself to slow down and think, think, think, even harder than I already do. It’s been grueling and challenging. When people ask me how my lessons are coming along, I chuckle and explain it as trying to chew gum, walk, and rub your stomach all at the same time. I thought about my first practice session at home, and I remember my son warning me about forming bad habits. I didn’t pay attention. Sounds like role reversal to me. It reminds me of how I don’t pay attention to God when he sen

I'm amazed. I cannot believe that I am able to play the accordion. I am beginner, and for someone who never learned how to read music, I am playing! Like I said, amazing. I am proud to report that I practice about 90% of the time. That means I only miss one or two days, at the most, during the week. My progess is noticeable, and my husband says I'm getting better. I wonder if it's true? I guess even more amazing is the confidence I've gained by playing. I feel like I can do just about anything. Which reminds me that it's in the small steps we take, that we experience growth. I am reminded of one of God's promises..."I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil 4:13. I love that scripture. I often think of it when I feel like I can't do certain things, or I am wiped out by the circumstances of life. My accordion is just a small example of HIM working in my life. I am doing it!

Liz is my accordion teacher. She is young, beautiful, and full of life. I met her about 6 years ago. She was my client when I was working as a Realtor. We formed a great relationship and she remained in my life in a comfortable way by becoming more than a client. About five years ago, she invited me to a party at her home. The party was cancelled, and somehow I didn't get the memo about the cancellation and showed up anyway. No matter, because everything happens for a reason. I stood in her living room, chatting away, and I spied an accordion in the corner of the room. I asked her about it, sharing how I loved the accordion. She immediately offered to give me lessons. I couldn't imagine finding the time for lessons and the thought of trying to get an accordion seemed impossible. So, I said thanks, but no thanks. Driving home, my husband encouraged me to pursue lessons, but I had already made up my mind. It was no and I was sticking to it. When Joe surprised me with my accor

Never go to an accordion lesson impaired. We had just achieved a huge goal at work and my director invited us to celebrate at a local restaurant at the end of the day. I didn't think two glasses of wine would really affect my ability to concentrate during my lesson, but it did. I had two challenges at this lesson. First, was my inability to concentrate. Second, was realizing that I had been playing a chord I learned last week incorrectly. Hmmm. Whatever I was playing sounded pretty good to me, but my instructor picked up on my error. Needless to say, my lesson was not very productive. Acutally, it was horrible. I was thankful it was over, although, now came the hard part. I had to unlearn the wrong chord, and train myself to play the right one. A habit is hard to break. That's how it is in life, too. It's been a week now, and I've been playing the right chord (I think) and it sounds right. It's a symbol to me that I can get rid of bad behaviors and replace them

Who says God doesn't answer prayers? There is a scripture that says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps 37:4). Since I was a little girl, I have wanted to play the accordion. When Joe surprised me with the accordion, I was excited and afraid at the same time. My first lesson was interesting and challenging. I had to put my intimidations aside, and put my brain into action. Both of those, hard to do!! I warned Liz, my instructor, that I would take twice as long to learn since I did't know how to read music. She assured me that I would learn. She was very patient with me. There's another psalm that reads almost like the first. It says, "May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed ." (Ps 20:4). That's my prayer now. I don't have lofty goals, but I do want to get to a point where I'll be able to play at least one song without a single mistake. We

It was my turn to choose a video. I shuffled through the Netflix titles and found "Bread and Tulips". I read the description and when I learned that it was set in Italy, I was immediately drawn to it. In one of the scenes, Rosalba, the main character is on a picnic with friends. There is food, and relaxation, which in and of itself drew me in. The dreamy moment for me, though, was watching her play the accordion for her friends. Joe just looked at me and said, "You're in your element, aren't you?" Of course I was. Actually, I was wishing I was in my element. Ever since I was about four years old I had wanted to play the accordion. Ok, I admit it! It's one of my favorite instruments. My husband knew this about me, and bless his heart, he was inspired. Fast forward a few months. I was snuggled under my covers when Joe burst into the room. He was carrying a large suitcase and delicately set it on the floor. Irritated, I asked him what he was doing and c